Just Solo

I’ve been on this quest to achieve my personal ideal mindset for around 3 or so years now, and I’ve noticed after recent events that I’m starting to slip back a bit into a mindset I used to have but mixed with what it is now. Normally I would view this as if it was regression, but it’s not. I think I enjoy this new mindset. Of course it’s not the ideal mindset I’m searching for, which may take many many years to achieve. But what I’ve learned is that I may have to look into one of my past mindsets/style of thinking to progress. This is a large step for me.

Some things make no sense to me, no matter what angle, view, or emotion I look at it with.

Okay, I’m going to express a thought that’s been on my mind for a little while and I’m going to try my best to get this in writing..

So.. When people use the most common and cliche quote known to history,”live every day like it was your last”, i tend to think of how I would live through a day as if it were my last and I try to imagine how others would go about their “last day”. For me personally, I highly dislike this quote. Not only in part because it is the most overused, misused, annoying, falsely deemed as deep, and cliche quote quite possibly in any of the languages used throughout this world as well as the universe, but because of my thought of how a last day would typically go. Let’s setup this situation so I can give you a basic understanding of why this quote is meaningless and what might be a stretch but also reckless. You won’t be sick through the day, you will be fully healthy and able to do what ever your body and mind are limited to. When the day is finished you will simply perish away into the wind. Now if I were to be experiencing my last day, multiple emotions would include but are not limited to… Stress, anxiety, urgency, frustration, trauma, and depression. So why would I want to apply these same feelings to my everyday life? It’s too unrealistic to live everyday like your last. Yeah the point of it may be to go out and do some outrageous things you would never do before, but that’s the point. You’ve never done those things before because you don’t truly want to. If you need to be motivated to accomplish what you want to do in your life by using this quote then you need to perform some self-reflection of yourself and realize some things that you can only find internally. Just think about when you use this quote? I almost feel like it’s irrellevant towards any and every situation. Ask your boss for that promotion because you need to live every day like it’s your last? No. That makes zero sense. “Hey go ask that girl out, you gotta live everyday like it’s your last…” Uhh excuse me? You’re not my friend to give me such worthless advice. I’ll skip through the middle of how I would live this final day because to be honest.. It wouldn’t be that interesting. I would refuse to rush nearly a lifetime into one day because that will only hurt your precious mind as well as your precious soul. Why break down these precious items that only ”you” are in possession of?  The feeling of incompletion is not a good feeling. Feeling unfulfilled and insignificant is not the way I plan on ending my life… Whether it was or wasn’t. All of these things correlate into the full meaning of this quote and you can’t play ignorance to any of this. Maybe I’m taking this too literal which I most likely am, but don’t say things and give advice without looking at the deeper meaning… Deal?

I don’t understand the magnitude of my effect on others in the multitple ways of interaction… And I have a hard time envisioning that I ever will. But is everyone this same way?